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August 13 2017

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that feeling you get when you’re angry



I would love to have seen the mental gymnastics Jaime did to think attacking the woman accompanied by the giant fire breathing lizard was a good idea.

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That’s why–!!! It’s the answer to his call!!! Their hands!! The way they’re positioned–!!


me kissing tom holland: babe your mouth is so slimy 

tom holland: thats me frog


im gonna start ending my posts like they’re youtube videos

anyways i hope you guys enjoyed this post, if you did then please be sure to give it a like and a reblog and follow my blog for more posts like this, i make new posts every 3.65 minutes. but anyways, insert unique outro phrase here, byeee

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This is the greatest progression of events I have ever read, where’s my historical gay romance novel about this


Local King Cannot Stop Promoting His Boyfriend

where’s the lush period drama about this series of events?

fun thing about king James, this guy was fairly public about his bf (more public than what was acceptable). He threw lots of extravagant parties with his man on his arm. It pissed off the church obviously so to get them off his back, he’s the one that ordered the third translation of the Bible from Hebrew to English (the King James Version aka the Authorized Version) so the Bible every hot blooded all American Christian reads today was literally just written so a very gay king could fuck his boyfriend in peace.

And the King James Bible was translated with the most homophobic interpretations possible as a way of getting back at the King. It is not the only Bible that American Christians read (for one, it’s a Protestant Bible, so Catholics don’t use it, for two, it’s not a very good translation) but it is the Bible used by evangelical Christians in the U.S., in some cases the ONLY Bible permitted for a congregation.

So if you see someone shouting Bible verses at you or waving signs at you, remember they are the spiritual descendants of King James’s enemies. Tell them to go fuck themselves and go make your boyfriend a Duke.

Argh, NO. 

 I realize this falls under “someone was wrong on the internet,” but I can’t sit this one out, sorry. Thing is, it’s really quite a good translation, as translations go. The translators were teams of Oxford and Cambridge scholars, and they had no interest in “getting back” at anyone. It’s fair to say that pretty much zero in the finished product had anything to do with the King’s love life, and many of those scholars who spent years working on the Greek and Hebrew texts were gay themselves. They were cutting edge scholars of ancient languages, and while they were hampered in some cases by lack of access to the textual recensions we have today (and in other cases by lack of access to rabbinic tradition that could have illuminated obscure passages) the work they produced was groundbreaking. 

Beyond that, the work they produced profoundly changed the English language forever. They were scholars with an ear for the melodic prose of Elizabethan English, so if you’ve ever said that someone was “a law unto themselves,” exhorted a friend to “eat, drink, and be merry,” called someplace a “den of thieves,” gave up the ghost, loved thy neighbor as thyself, fell flat on your face, been holier than thou, your brother’s keeper, or at your wit’s end, you have used just some of the phrases that have shaped the English language for centuries and which come to us from, you guessed it, the King James translators. Their work is the backbone of modern English, so maybe show a little respect, if historical awareness was too much to ask. 

 But I’m not done yet, because in addition to giving us modern English, those translators worked a sea change in the relationship between English-speaking humans and their God that quickly spread to speakers of other languages too. You know all that thee/thou/thine stuff? Yeah, get this: that was some shocking shit, and I’m gonna tell you why. Used to be that we had more than one way of saying “you” in English. There was the formal “you,” which was the plural, but also the way in which you addressed social superiors. If you were talking to a servant, a child, a woman (who wasn’t your queen), or your best friend, then they got the “thou” treatment. Thou was for intimates. Thou was what you breathed in your lover’s ear at night. So for the King James translators to turn around and use “thou” as the pronoun with which humans addressed their God?? Unbelievable. Shockingly intimate. A verbal collapse of the distance between humankind and the divine, done at the stroke of a pen. 

 Those translators and scholars were imperfect men, and they produced an imperfect work. But it’s an everlasting monument of English prose and poetry that still shapes our language, our theology, and our modes of thought today so maybe let’s not lay our justifiable grievances with millennia religion entirely at their feet, all right? 

And I’m sorry about the historical awareness remark, that was uncalled for. I just get a little excited about Jacobean Hebraicists, and I love to fight the good fight. ((Which is another King James Bible expression.))

They still fucked it up.

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Everybody, try laughing. Then whatever scares you will go away!

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I have several questions

August 12 2017

horror films for people who don’t like horror films



i’ve been asked this a lot: what horror movies would you recommend to people who try to stay away from the genre in general, for whatever reason? some people don’t enjoy being scared, some people find horror too unrealistic and outlandish, and some people don’t enjoy the repetitive tropes that are admittedly often present in horror films. 

that being said, when i do give people recommendations for horror movies to dip their toe into, they’re often the same ones, or very similar ones. so i’ve gathered them here today, in case my horror loving followers have any friends who ask them the same questions, but aren’t sure of how to answer. 

Q: Why don’t you like horror?

A: “I don’t like jumpscares.” 


  • The Silence of the Lambs
  • The Orphanage
  • Rosemary’s Baby
  • The Shining

A: “I can’t stand gore.” 


  • The Babadook
  • The Others
  • Ringu
  • The Conjuring

A: “I don’t like horror’s cheesy tropes.” 


  • It Follows
  • Pontypool
  • Teeth
  • A Tale of Two Sisters

A: “I don’t like the way horror treats women.” 


  • American Mary
  • Girls Against Boys
  • You’re Next
  • All Cheerleaders Die
  • Excision
  • The Loved Ones

A: “Horror is too unrealistic.” 


  • Hush
  • The Girl Next Door
  • Wolf Creek
  • Almost Mercy
  • Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer

A: “I’d rather watch something funny.” 


  • Life After Beth
  • Jennifer’s Body
  • Zombieland
  • Shaun of the Dead
  • Re-Animator

Also, if you don’t like jumpscares, try watching John Carpenter’s The Thing. I don’t think there’s any in the whole movie, and it’s a masterpiece of suspense and really amazing practical effects.

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what is this a fucking contest

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holy shit SLAIN

@doomybot can you past the Turing test?


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welcome to danny’s drama den

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a list of possible replies to a ‘are you on your period’ question

  • put your hand down my pants and let us find out ʘ‿ʘ
  • you think I’m angry because of my period? let me tell you my secret. I’m always angry.
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