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August 16 2017

Bar Ettiquette





Not many of my followers know, but I’m a bartender and after this weekend (and for the last 5 years) I thought I’d make a quick a simple list of bar manners to mind.

  • If you use a lime after a shot do not stick your gross ass chewed up lime on the bar. Put it back into the shot glass, on a napkin or find a trash can for the love of god. 
  • If you don’t want a straw in your drink, either say so when you order or put in on a napkin or throw it away. Again, do not stick it in your mouth, suck on it and leave your spit straw on the counter. Have you no manners?
  • Don’t yell. Use your manners.
  • I know it looks like I will never look into your beautiful, drink starved eyes, but I can see you even if I’m not looking at you. Trust me
  • If I am not looking at you, I’m not taking your order. If I look at your eyes, that’s a sign that I’m ready to take your order. Which I am not, so don’t wave your hand in front of my face to make me look at you. I might forget what I’m doing an take even longer. You’re only hurting yourself.
  • If you are ordering multiple drinks, order them all at once. Not one at a time. You get your drinks faster and everyone around you can get served faster as well. It’s a win-win.
  • I don’t care what you drink, honestly. Like, drink a long island. Or a lemon drop. It makes my gut hurt because sugar. But I Don’t Care. And neither should you, so don’t make shitty comments the person next to you when they order. 
  • Unless you’re putting red bull in grey goose. Save yourself some cash and just get well vodka. 
  • I take it back, there was one time someone ordered a pint glass of half & half and a shot of malibu rum in it and I thought i was going to die.
  • If I ask you if you want a back/chaser for your shot I’m not questioning your masculinity or giving you a test. I just want to know. It’s easier to do it all at once.
  • I don’t know that one special drink at another bar, but tell me what you like about it and I’ll try to find you an alternative. 
  • Please. Please don’t ask me to just pour you whatever. Especially when it’s busy. I have to hold back the urge to pour you a shot of grape pucker and call it a day.
  • If you ask me for a “girly” or “pussy” drink I will pour you fernet branca because I am both girly, in possession of a vagina and that’s all I drink. You’ll regret it.
  • If you order something gay I will pour you whiskey because that’s what all my gay male friends drink. They also drink fernet as well. It’s a toss up there. 
  • In fact. I serve women, gay men/women and straight dudes all about the same when it comes to whiskey. It’s strange how gender and sexuality have nothing to do with the types of alcohol you drink.
  • The correct terminology you are looking for is “fruity” or “mixed” 
  • Anyway. Someone once asked for both. After I responded with fernet to his “pussy” shot request, he ordered a “gay” shot.
  • So I told him I’d make him a gay shot called a dick in his mouth.
  • I did. 
  • He told me it was “a little stiff”
  • I told him if there’s a dick in his mouth, you better hope it’s stiff.

this is the post i’ve been waiting for

This is a delight.

August 15 2017

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dont date someone who doesnt enjoy talking to you a lot

dont submerge yourself in water and inhale 

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Blue in paintings by Vincent van Gogh

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Everyone’s talking about Tennant in Good Omens but I’d like to point out Michael Sheen also played Aro (over acted vampire dude) in the Twilight Saga and I just don’t know what to do with this information so I figured I’d put it here.

this is the best information thank u

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Tom Holland crashes RDJ’s interview

‘God it’s a good face. The future of cinema!’

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Listen. please do Not make this tweet into a meme.
this tweet is good and pure and hilarious all on its own
do not make it suffer the same fate as spiders georg
thank you

tumblr: i have made a Meme
you: you fucked up a perfectly good tweet is what you did. look at it. it’s got anxiety

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city slickers 

inspired by @fireworksphil

the avengers as text posts


tony stark:

steve rogers:

natasha romanoff:

bruce banner:


clint barton:

peter parker:

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** Permission to post from their pages was granted by the artist
Support the artist on their page too
Please don’t remove credits & don’t repost/edit the art **

Artist :  Hika (pixiv / twitter)

Source 1 - 2

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August 14 2017

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pink, here we bloom again















the phrase “curiosity killed the cat” is actually not the full phrase it actually is “curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back” so don’t let anyone tell you not to be a curious little baby okay go and be interested in the world uwu

See also:

Blood is thicker than water The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.

Meaning that relationships formed by choice are stronger than those formed by birth.

Let’s not forget that “Jack of all trades, master of none” ends with “But better than a master of one.”

It means that being equally good/average at everything is much better than being perfect at one thing and sucking at everything else. So don’t worry if you’re not perfect at something you do! Being okay is better!

These made me feel better

Also, “great minds think alike” ends with “but fools rarely differ”

It goes to show that conformity isn’t always a good thing. And that just because more than one person has the same idea, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a good idea.

what the fuck why haven’t i heard the full version to any of these 

“Birds of a feather flock together” ends with “until the cat comes.”

It’s actually a warning about fair-weather friends, not an assessment of how complementary people are.

I’ve always felt like these were cut down on purpose.

I really like these phrases and plan on spreading this knowledge.

The early bird catches the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

I want to make designs out of these.

Funny how all the half-finished ones encourage uniformity and upholding the status-quo, while the complete proverbs encourage like…living exciting, eclectic lives driven by choice and personal passion.


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things to remember 

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